Adrenaline's Shadow

Mine is Rishatanayqua.  Karlene will still call me Sharneequa though. Swear to God, she calls me that more than my real name.
No, I don’t know why.

I changed the K and L because Barack and Obama just wasn’t funny.

I simply don’t have shit to say.  So, I”m gonna pass along somebody else’s funny drunk story. Enjoy…

…I lived next door to a young couple in an apartment complex. They were in their early twenties and we all partied together one night. I got absolutely smashed on flavored vodkas and I can’t even remember what else.

When I went home (all of ten feet away,) I had locked my keys inside my apartment. I didn’t want anyone seeing me drunk, so rather than call my maintenance people, I decided to go in my back window. It was summer and the window was open.

I pushed the screen in, hoisted myself up and in, and knocked over an entire wire bookcase of plants that I DIDN’T OWN. I’m on the floor, covered in plants and dirt, freaking out that I’ve broken into someone else’s home and I’m about to get arrested for burglary and public drunkenness. So I take off back out the window. I find my window and get inside, race upstairs, get changed and go straight to bed. My heart is racing, waiting to hear sirens.

The next morning, the same couple who had gotten me blitzed told me someone broke into their house in the middle of the night, and I had to fess up. They thought it was hysterically funny, and I was SO glad it turned out to be their house that I had accidentally destroyed. Arrest avoided!

God, that is so funny, I *wish* it was my story.

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Annular Tear (L4-5) for the win! Whateverthefuck that is.

I guess I’ll be seeing a back specialist.

That’s all I know for now. [shrug]

I didn’t do that, it came from here. But, it’s totally something I would do.

Kinda like I made the pics below for kicks one day, but never posted them because there’s real no point to them other than it amused me for about 10 minutes:

I started with this (It’s kinda NSFW)…

Continue Reading »

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I survived the tube this morning. It actually wasn’t that bad. What I almost didn’t survive were the three Godbags beside me in the waiting room, trying to Out-Christian each other.

I swear to Xenu, one bitch would tell a story of how she witnessed to somebody and then the next overly-quaffed wench would try to top it. Occasionally, one of them would get so pissed, she would waddle to the bathroom, presumably to cool off.
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Yesterday, my dogs tried to catch a helicopter.
I never said they were smart.
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A few minutes ago, we had a moron in the office:

Me: How the hell did you know what he was saying?
Sis:  I speak shit-mouth

Which made me LOL because the guy did sound like he had a mouthful of something.
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The overly effusive x-ray tech got on my nerves today. God knows, I love me some Honey, Baby, and Sugar (and if an elderly black woman says it to me, I will melt on the spot). However, in fewer than 15 minutes, I was called, Pretty Lady, Baby, Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, [fucking] MARSHMALLOW, sweetie-pie, and I that’s all I specifically remember, but GOD DAMN!

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If Gawker.com thinks you tried to comment on their site yesterday and sent you an email, it was me.  Same applies to future ones.  Just don’t click the link (Sage).

As if Panettone isn’t delicious enough naked. I’d eat the shit out of this.

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I haven’t had an MRI in 10 years. I’m scheduled for X-Rays and a scan of my back tomorrow morning. Have MRIs changed in recent years? ‘Cause my ass was ready to tear my way out of it last time.

Fuck! I just spilled a Diet Dr Pepper (Okay, it was really Diet Dr. Thunder because I’m being cheap) all over my keyboard.  Great.

Sad news today.

Lisa has unexpectedly lost her oldest brother, Anthony.

I started to email most of you, but I’m afraid we may overwhelm her with messages.  So, if you want to offer a kind word to her, leave it here and I’ll be sure that she sees it.

We love you, Lisa, and I’m so sorry for your loss.

Saturday, when Karlene returned from her brother’s house with this in tow, Angelo and I were thinking the same thing:

She is forever dragging shit home. At least it wasn’t an animal this time.

She talked me into helping her rehab it on Sunday.

It’s starting to grow on me. Actually, it’s turning out kind of cute. Plus, we’ve thought of other uses for it. We can throw all our shit in it to go to the creek instead of loading the truck so full that we barely fit, let alone the dogs.

It’s not finished, but we got a good start. I’ll post some after pics when we get to it.

Here’s one of my gayest secrets EVER. I fucking love the musical Mame. Specifically, the film version with Lucille Ball and Bea Arthur. Plus I’ve seen it, I think 3 times, live on stage. LOVE. IT.

Close your mouth, you look stupid.

I am so relieved to be out of that closet.  Enjoy Bosom Buddies with me:

If that’s not the gayest thing I’ve ever posted, then this probably is: