Lisa and I did Memphis over the weekend. Damn, that’s a fun place.

We started at the Flying Saucer, then Beale Street, and finally ribs at Rendezvous.  Somewhere along the way, Lisa got druuuuuuuunk. It was probably the 32 oz Big Ass Beer that did her in.  I opted for the sensible 16 oz.

big ass beer beer to go

Our biggest fight of the evening (despite Karlene’s forbidding us to fight in public while there) was when drunk ass insisted that these were Maple leaves.  (leafs or leaves?)

leaves (Small)

I took that photo the next morning at Graceland. These were under Lisa Marie’s swing-set. BTW, I know damn well that those are NOT Maple. Anybody know what they are?

By far, the most entertaining part of the night came while watching Lisa’s drunk ass try to navigate this half wall in the room:

half wall (Small)

Bitch could see the bathroom door, but could not figure out why she couldn’t get there. She would back up, move over a couple inches and walk into it again. I had mercy and helped her after a few tries, but my stomach ached from laughing. I am soooo sorry that I didn’t think to video it. My bad.

Graceland was a step above on the cheesy ladder, because it’s decked out for Christmas. It was so gloriously cheesy, I don’t really have words…

graceland

The absolute coolest thing happened Sunday morning at the Peabody. Lisa made a purchase at Lansky’s and Mr Lansky himself  (clothier to Elvis) rang her up. We were in awe.

Today, we are going to the hunting club to spend the day with TLF and K’s nephews.  We plan for Lisa to lose her gun virginity by allowing her to shoot a few of our firearms. God help us!